Overcome

Since realizing that my depression was not just a once-a-month feeling, that it was actually something serious, I have been more aware of the thoughts inside my head. They can scare me sometimes.

Like today. I had a great time with friends at a sleepover. Lot's of laughing and good talks, so of course we stayed up late. I was in the middle of making my bed after they left and I layed down. The want to do something that I knew was wrong came into my head. I so badly felt like I needed to do it. But the longer I layed there, the more I felt God's hand on my back telling me not to. It was as if He said to just go to sleep and you won't feel guilty for doing something I knew was wrong. 

When I woke up I heard the music playing that I left on before my nap. It made me start thinking about losing one of my friends, or hurting myself. All of a sudden I felt like I needed to self-harm. I have never had the feeling to do so before. I looked up, around my room to see what I might use and then remembered the pair os scissors in my dresser drawer.

I knew I shouldn't do it, but I felt the urge. I sat on the side of my bed and looked at the dresser. Once again God told me no. I am still safe.

Today God helped me to overcome a scary moment in my life. Never would I thought I would want to self harm. But because of His miraculous love for me, He overcame the thoughts of the devil for me. I can't be more thankful!

Look to the Lord, for His mercy endures forever!
Melody :)